7. Sinister Baby-Steps
Anxious to try out those magical powers found in the memories of the blood, I finally got up from my scrawny hideout. Right away a stampede of groundhogs sprouted from their lairs under my feet. I guess they were right to be afraid of me, because my arm automatically shot down to the floor dragging me behind it, and snatched one of these vermin with hardly any effort. Before I was able to understand what was going on, I was already slurping the innards of the tiny animal that I had bitten open.
But I wasn't disgusted at all. On the contrary, I felt slight jolts of pleasure as I felt the life force of the small mammal dissipating lightly, like a puff of cigar smoke lost in a gust of wind. I guessed that the unclean spirit that infected my veins, with its contempt for anything material, was who enjoyed the extinction of any vestiges of life. Although, even now it's still difficult for me to distinguish how much of it is the spirit's fault, and how much of it is due simply to the destroying evil of human nature…
But it don't matter none.
I spent several hours practicing these new powers found in the memories. But not all of them were accessible to me. For instance, I couldn't pick up stuff with my mind, not even small pebbles, even though I could make them flip over. And I couldn't read thoughts. The hares and falcons around only projected blurred feelings of fear, aggression and hunger. And the ants and scorpions had such alien thoughts that I only perceived them as dull and pulsating colors. But I couldn't catch even a stray thought from a human. I guess I was too far away from any town…
But I was flabbergasted when I confirmed that I could let the spirit move my body at incredible speeds. It was enough to imagine myself standing next to a mesquite grove hundreds of feet away to find myself there after a matter of a few moments. At those speeds, the air itself felt as if it were a cement wall that scrubbed my skin raw. With all my senses amplified, I could feel everything with an unimaginable immediacy that made me suffer as I had never suffered any pain, but without any actual bodily harm. All the pain, and none of the damage. Today, over twenty years later, I still don't know if it's all worth it…
However, all my complaints were forgotten as soon as I tried to let the spirit lift my body through the air, and was able to do it. I had always suffered from vertigo, but this new sensation of seeing the ground far below, sliding underneath my feet, and the air sneaking into my clothes and hair, filled me with an unhealthy joy. This was the final proof that I was actually a monster. This was proof that I was no longer human at all.
Still experimenting, I tried to imagine that I would find myself in some exotic and foreign place, like Timbuktu, but the spirit couldn't take me out there. I guessed that, if I hadn't been there before in person, the spirit wouldn't be able to transport me. And when I tried to rise into the air to see if I would reach outer space, my body wasn't able to go beyond a couple of miles off the ground. I deduced that the spirit tied me down to the monster maker, to Benjamin. Since he was origin and center of this damned infection, I imagined that if there were more freaks like me then we all were obliged to remain wherever he would be. I wondered what would happen if Benjamin was launched in a rocket to Mars: Would the rest of us be destroyed, or would we be transported out to that planet?
But that don't matter none, either.
During my musings I had let my body float adrift, like a lost kite, until suddenly I realized that I had arrived to the outskirts of the Navy base in Kingsville.
Anxious to try out those magical powers found in the memories of the blood, I finally got up from my scrawny hideout. Right away a stampede of groundhogs sprouted from their lairs under my feet. I guess they were right to be afraid of me, because my arm automatically shot down to the floor dragging me behind it, and snatched one of these vermin with hardly any effort. Before I was able to understand what was going on, I was already slurping the innards of the tiny animal that I had bitten open.
But I wasn't disgusted at all. On the contrary, I felt slight jolts of pleasure as I felt the life force of the small mammal dissipating lightly, like a puff of cigar smoke lost in a gust of wind. I guessed that the unclean spirit that infected my veins, with its contempt for anything material, was who enjoyed the extinction of any vestiges of life. Although, even now it's still difficult for me to distinguish how much of it is the spirit's fault, and how much of it is due simply to the destroying evil of human nature…
But it don't matter none.
I spent several hours practicing these new powers found in the memories. But not all of them were accessible to me. For instance, I couldn't pick up stuff with my mind, not even small pebbles, even though I could make them flip over. And I couldn't read thoughts. The hares and falcons around only projected blurred feelings of fear, aggression and hunger. And the ants and scorpions had such alien thoughts that I only perceived them as dull and pulsating colors. But I couldn't catch even a stray thought from a human. I guess I was too far away from any town…
But I was flabbergasted when I confirmed that I could let the spirit move my body at incredible speeds. It was enough to imagine myself standing next to a mesquite grove hundreds of feet away to find myself there after a matter of a few moments. At those speeds, the air itself felt as if it were a cement wall that scrubbed my skin raw. With all my senses amplified, I could feel everything with an unimaginable immediacy that made me suffer as I had never suffered any pain, but without any actual bodily harm. All the pain, and none of the damage. Today, over twenty years later, I still don't know if it's all worth it…
However, all my complaints were forgotten as soon as I tried to let the spirit lift my body through the air, and was able to do it. I had always suffered from vertigo, but this new sensation of seeing the ground far below, sliding underneath my feet, and the air sneaking into my clothes and hair, filled me with an unhealthy joy. This was the final proof that I was actually a monster. This was proof that I was no longer human at all.
Still experimenting, I tried to imagine that I would find myself in some exotic and foreign place, like Timbuktu, but the spirit couldn't take me out there. I guessed that, if I hadn't been there before in person, the spirit wouldn't be able to transport me. And when I tried to rise into the air to see if I would reach outer space, my body wasn't able to go beyond a couple of miles off the ground. I deduced that the spirit tied me down to the monster maker, to Benjamin. Since he was origin and center of this damned infection, I imagined that if there were more freaks like me then we all were obliged to remain wherever he would be. I wondered what would happen if Benjamin was launched in a rocket to Mars: Would the rest of us be destroyed, or would we be transported out to that planet?
But that don't matter none, either.
During my musings I had let my body float adrift, like a lost kite, until suddenly I realized that I had arrived to the outskirts of the Navy base in Kingsville.
To Be Continued…
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